CacheCon: code of conduct

The rule

Don’t be an asshole.

That is the whole of it. Do not make this a worse place to be for somebody else. Everything below is just the specific version, written down so that nobody gets to argue about what was obvious, and so that you know in advance exactly what we will act on.

Specifically

Harassment. Sexual attention nobody asked for, following people, slurs, deliberate misgendering, or persistent unwanted contact. Including in the bar, including over text afterward, including as a joke.
Photography. No pictures unless you get consent. Not a lanyard color, not a badge sticker, not a policy you can claim you did not read: an actual conversation with the actual person. That holds for wide shots of a full room and for the Island of Misfit Toys. If you did not ask, you do not take it, and you do not post it.
Recording. Talks are recorded only where the speaker has agreed. Hallways, the Island and the bar are never recorded, by us or by you.
The closed session. /dev/urandom runs with the doors shut, and the rule there is absolute: no recording, no photos, no notes with names in them, nothing repeated outside with a person attached to it. Break that one and you are out of the building the same hour, and we will say publicly that somebody was removed for it. People speak candidly in there only because that holds.
Other people’s kit. The conference network is not a target, and neither is the person sitting next to you. If you want something to attack, we will give you something to attack. That is what the CTF is for.
Deliberate outing. Handles, day jobs, immigration status, employer, legal history. A lot of people in this room have good reasons for the wall they keep between two parts of their life. Respect it without needing the reason.
Weaponized pedantry. Correcting someone is fine. Following them around the event doing it is not.
Pressure to partake. There are non-alcoholic options at everything we run and a table at the social where nobody is drinking. Using either is nobody’s business. Do not ask why somebody is not drinking, do not keep offering, and do not hand anybody anything without telling them exactly what is in it and how strong it is.

Argue all you like

This is not a place with approved opinions. Say unpopular things. Be wrong in public. Tell somebody their architecture is a disaster and then explain why. Disagree with a speaker in the room, out loud, while they are still standing at the front. None of that is what this document is for and none of it will get you a quiet word from anybody.

What this document is for is the other thing entirely: making the room worse for somebody because of who they are rather than because of what they said. Those are not the same act, and everyone past about the age of twelve can tell them apart.

Go at the idea as hard as you like. The argument is the point. Go at the person and you are out.

No appeal to free speech is coming to rescue that, because nobody is jailing you. We are simply declining to host you, which is a thing we are allowed to do and which you would defend our right to do in any other context.

If that trade sounds bad to you, this is not your conference. Do not come. There is no hard feeling anywhere in that sentence. It is just the deal, stated in advance so that nobody has to discover it the hard way on the day.

Reporting

Find anyone wearing a staff badge, or use the contact below. You will talk to a person, not a form. You will not be asked to repeat it to five people in turn, and you will not be asked whether you are sure.

In person: Any staff badge. Staff are listed with photographs at registration, so you know who you are looking for before you need one.
By phone: TBA. A number that reaches a named organizer, published in the program and printed on the back of every badge.
By email: conduct@cachecon.com, read by the organizers only.

What happens next

We act immediately. Not after the closing talk, not once we have consulted a board. Depending on what happened that ranges from a quiet word through to removal without a refund and a note to the venue. We will tell you what we did. We will not quietly do nothing and hope the event ends first, which is the usual failure mode and the reason most people stopped bothering to report anything years ago.

If a report concerns an organizer, it goes to the other organizers and that person is out of the decision entirely. If it concerns a sponsor, the sponsorship ends and the money is not returned.

What we keep

Reports are held by the organizers for as long as it takes to resolve them, plus whatever we need to enforce a ban at a future event, which is a name and one line, not a file. Nothing about a report is shared with employers, with sponsors, or with anyone else, ever, unless the person who reported it asks us to. See leave no trace for everything else we hold.

One honest limit. We keep very little, and we can tell you exactly what we do with our own records. We cannot tell you anything about anyone else’s. If something crosses the line into a crime and Fort Collins PD gets involved, that becomes a police record, and a police record is theirs, not ours. Good luck getting it purged. That is not a threat, it is just the shape of the world, and you should know it before you decide what you want to happen next.

And yes, this conference leans anti-authority, in case the rest of the site left any doubt about that. Which is exactly why we are telling you where ours stops. Anybody who promises they can make a police record go away is either lying to you or is about to do something on your behalf that you never asked for. We would rather hand you the boring truth and let you decide. Being suspicious of institutions has to include being suspicious of this one.